My Baby This Week - 4 week old

How your baby's growing:

Your baby may gurgle, coo, grunt, and hum to express his feelings. A few babies also begin squealing and laughing. Be sure to coo and gurgle back, and talk to your baby face to face. He'll enjoy holding your gaze now.

If you have things to do, your baby will still enjoy hearing your voice from across the room. And don't feel silly about using baby talk — babies are particularly attuned to this high-pitched, drawn-out way of communicating, which can actually teach your baby about the structure and function of language.

• Learn more fascinating facts about your 4-week-old's development.

Your life: Mixed feelings

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Even when you're the happiest person on earth to be a new parent, it's common to have nagging little feelings of disappointment. Not that you want to tell anyone. But you spent nine months imagining what your baby would be like and now here he is — perhaps not exactly what you'd pictured. Parents of a baby born with a health problem are especially vulnerable to this feeling of not getting what they'd bargained for. But parents of healthy children often have such feelings too.

In all of these situations, there's a wonderful new baby to celebrate. And yet there's often an imaginary baby to mourn before the real baby can be fully embraced. Rarely does anybody talk about this phenomenon, but it's perfectly normal and human. So if your joy is tinged with a little regret, don't feel guilty. Give yourself a little space to privately grieve, and then count the blessings you do have.

3 questions about: Vaccines

Why are so many vaccines recommended for babies?
No parent enjoys seeing her baby getting shots or taking medicine. But vaccines are designed to provide protection against serious diseases and many people consider them the most important part of well-baby checkups. Some of those diseases (such as polio and diphtheria) were much more common a hundred years ago, but are rarely seen now in the United States, thanks to immunization programs.

How do they work?
Vaccines contain "weakened" or killed versions of the virus or bacteria that causes a disease. After a baby receives the vaccine, his immune system creates antibodies to the virus or bacteria that will protect him against the disease if he's exposed.

What's the vaccine schedule?
Immunizations given in the first year include the following:

• DTaP: Protects against diphtheria, tetanus, and pertussis (whooping cough). Five doses: at 2, 4, and 6 months, between 15 and 18 months, and between 4 and 6 years.
• Flu ("influenza"): Protects against the influenza virus, which can cause severe respiratory infections and pneumonia. A yearly dose is recommended for those 6 months to 18 years old during flu season (fall and winter). Children younger than 9 getting a flu shot for the first time need two doses of vaccine the first year they're vaccinated, administered one month apart.
• HBV (hepatis B): Protects against the hepatitis B virus, which attacks the liver. Three doses: at birth, between 1 and 2 months, and between 6 and 18 months.
• Hib (Haemophilus influenzae type b bacteria): Protects against meningitis, blood infection, pneumonia, and epiglottitis. Four doses: at 2, 4, and 6 months, and between 12 and 15 months.
• PCV (pneumococcal) vaccine: Protects against pneumococcal pneumonia (a common lung disease), meningitis, and ear infections. Four doses: at 2, 4, and 6 months, and between 12 and 15 months.
• Polio (IPV or inactivated polio virus): Protects against polio, which can cause paralysis and death. Four doses: at 2 and 4 months, between 6 and 18 months, and between 4 and 6 years.
• Rotavirus vaccine: Protects against rotavirus, which causes severe diarrhea, vomiting, fever, and dehydration. Unlike the other vaccines, it's a liquid given by mouth. Three doses: at 2, 4, and 6 months.

Vaccines recommended for babies after age 1 include varicella (for chicken pox), MMR (for measles, mumps, and rubella), and hepatitis A.

My Baby This Week - 3 week old

How your baby's growing:

Babies love and need to suck, so don't discourage it. In fact, you may have already discovered that a pacifier works wonders in helping your baby calm down. When the "binky" or your finger isn't available, your baby may even be able to find her thumb or fingers to soothe herself.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends using a pacifier at nap time and bedtime, based on evidence that using a pacifier may reduce the risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). That said, there's no need to reinsert the pacifier if it falls out once your baby's asleep.

• Learn more fascinating facts about your 3-week-old's development.

Your life: Bonding

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Some moms talk about feeling an instantaneous, consuming love right from the beginning. That's become the prevailing image of what "bonding" is supposed to be like. But bonding isn't a single, magical delivery-room moment. For more than half of new mothers, feeling connected takes a bit longer — and for good reason.

Birth, delivery, and recovery can be taxing physical experiences, especially if there are complications. If you've never spent a lot of time around babies, let alone been completely responsible for taking care of one, anxiety and worry about doing everything right can intrude too. Your relationship with your child is not so different from your other relationships — it can take time and many interactions for those feelings of attachment to develop and ripen.

So there's no need to feel guilty if you look at your long-awaited baby and feel like you're staring at a little stranger. In a sense she is. Give it time and eventually you won't be able to imagine life without her.

If after several weeks, however, feelings of aloofness or even resentment continue, you could be suffering from postpartum depression. Ten percent of new moms suffer from this form of depression, triggered largely by hormonal changes after delivery. In addition to prolonged feelings of ambivalence about motherhood, accompanying symptoms include insomnia, anxiety, changes in appetite, and thoughts of harming yourself or your baby.

Postpartum depression has nothing to do with your fitness as a mom and everything to do with biochemical changes you have little control over. Call your ob-gyn or midwife now — don't wait until your postpartum checkup. The sooner you seek help, the sooner you'll feel better.

3 questions about: Colic

What is it?
Colic is extended frantic crying in an otherwise healthy and well-fed infant. It's thought to affect between 10 and 25 percent of babies under 3 months of age. All infants cry more in the first three months of life than at any other time in their lives, but colic is different. Some doctors define it by the rule of threes: three hours of crying at a time, at least three times a week, for at least three weeks in a row — usually starting between the third and sixth week of life. The "colicky" episodes often come on suddenly in the evening hours. Many babies will cry intensely, unable to be soothed, clenching their fists and drawing up their legs. Every baby is different, but colic usually fades away by around 3 months.

What causes colic?
No one's sure. Some people theorize that it's due to a baby's immature digestive system or to food allergies. Others believe the cause may be a still-developing nervous system or a baby's temperament that allows her to be easily overstimulated. Although colic can make parents feel helpless and guilty, it's temporary — and it's not a sign of a long-term problem.

What can I do about colic?
Each baby is different and is comforted by different measures, so you may need to experiment with a few techniques to find what works best for your baby. Here are some suggestions: Try to create a calming environment that mimics what life was like in your uterus: snug, warm, and calming. Swaddle your baby firmly in a blanket. Rock her in your arms or in a rocking cradle. Try holding her in an upright position to help her pass some gas. Some babies are soothed by loud repetitive sounds, such as a vacuum, dishwasher, clothes drier, or "white noise" machine, all of which are probably reminiscent of the sound of your internal organs from the inside. Or combine sound and motion by taking a car ride. Other ideas: a warm bath, a warm hot-water bottle or towel placed on your baby's stomach (make sure the temperature is comfortable on her skin), or a pacifier. Some parents report that their baby's colicky symptoms improve with an over-the-counter medicine called simethicone, which may reduce intestinal gas.

Hearing a baby cry can be frustrating and exhausting. It's helpful to have someone who can take turns with you holding and pacing with your baby. If you have to set your baby in her crib or another safe place for a few minutes to use the bathroom (or to have a good cry yourself), rest assured that leaving her alone for a few minutes, even if she's crying, is not going to hurt her. Do let your doctor know if the cry sounds shrieking and pained, if your baby stops gaining weight, if she has a fever, or if the colicky symptoms go beyond age 3 months— as these may be signs of health problems.